Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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