some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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