A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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