There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
