there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If I die, sorry about rent.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
