she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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