it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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