No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
