Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
His nipple licking is glorious
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