I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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