He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
