i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
