Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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