Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
