wakey wakey hands off snakey
This girl is more easily done than said...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
