is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
