You smell like stripper and shame
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When are your genitals available?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
