i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
