omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
