But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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