my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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