My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
