We're like a lot better than the average bears
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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