we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
