so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
