Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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