Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
