Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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