Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize