You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
