would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
