he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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