In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
