Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
