My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
