Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
