I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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