So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
