By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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