He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
