Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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