i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize