Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize