I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
