The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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