smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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