Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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