So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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