Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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