Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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