WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
