I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize