As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
