I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
