Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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