Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
