he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
