In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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