i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
