My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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