I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
