going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
