Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
