He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
