He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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